Dramamine
by absolute reverence
Summary: It makes you feel like God. Like you can do anything. It makes you love everyone and everything. It's the best drug in the world. [SethSummer]
1. Rolls

-1**Title: **Dramamine

**Author: **Sam

**Genre**: General/Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the OC or any of its characters. I do, however, own Michael, Derek, Josiah and Pat.

**Rating: **R. Definite R for language and drug use.

**Summary: **Does Ryan know you're doing coke? Does Ryan know you're selling coke?

**Author's Notes: **First off, this is going to be a dark story. And second off, I don't condone drug use of any kind. I don't do drugs and I don't like it when people do. But I realize that its something that really happens. And I am using the characters such as Josiah, Michael, Pat, Brian and Derek to show how easy it is to get sucked into something like this. So read and review, but remember that drugs are bad. And that's the end of that.

**Author's Notes Again: **As I write this, I try to make it believable as possible. I want people to view this kind of environment as something welcoming and realistic. Because as we watched Marissa get mixed up with Volchock, everyone just sat there and asked their televisions how she could get mixed up in something so obviously negative. This kind of stuff doesn't have to necessarily be blatantly negative. And I want to show that through this story.

**Last time, I swear: **This is a prologue of sorts. Just kind of a background to show what Seth has been up to. I kind of want to jump into the story, but I can't without giving some background. So here it is.

Seth Cohen grabbed his burlap like sack filled with clothes and searched for the keys to the Range Rover. He had to get to Michael's apartment. Fast. Apparently, they had just gotten a substantial amount of weed, and they wanted Seth to be there.

Finally, he found his keys sticking out from under a three week old TV Guide. He vaguely remembered putting them there the night before, but he didn't care at that point. All he knew was that he had fifteen minutes to get across town before the party started without him.

He made his way to the front door, kicking large piles of trash out of the way as he walked. He hadn't taken the time to clean in what seemed months, but in actuality was only a few days. Opened containers of food and alcohol sat in arrays around the small dorm. He locked the door behind him, adjusted his bag and started the brisk walk to the parking garage.

When Seth had started school at Berkeley, he had high hopes of making new friends and starting over. And the fact that Ryan and Marissa were both going to Berkeley made things a bit easier as well. He had been excited to get out and start over with his life. The new era, as he liked to call it. An era without Summer.

Summer had barely given Seth a glance after he had denounced his love for her. She packed, moved to Brown, got a dorm, got a new boyfriend and a new life. He had cried for her more than he had ever cried for anything in his entire life. Even more than when his grandfather died. Or his mother went to a rehabilitation center. Or the first night away from Newport without his mom and dad. Or when Ryan left for Oregon.

Yeah, he was accustomed to crying by this point.

Practically as soon as they had gotten to Berkeley, Ryan and Marissa had rekindled their relationship. It was as if fate wanted them together and only inconsequential things kept them apart. They now had a chance to actually be happy. And as glad Seth was for his brother and his friend, he couldn't stand to be around that kind of happiness when he felt so miserable.

He hadn't lost complete touch with Ryan and Marissa, but he didn't hang out with them nearly as often as he did before. And he saw them once a week, if even that. Since they each had such different majors, he didn't have class with the pair. And that made things a lot harder, too.

Seth hadn't made friends as easily as he thought he was going to. In his head, he had pictured Berkeley as some land of opportunity. He imagined a whole campus of Seths, all wandering around, estranged from society. But actually, what he found was a lot of old Lukes, a couple of Brads, a few Olivers, a ridiculous amount of Marissas, and a couple of Ryans thrown into the mix.

There were no Seths or Summers at Berkeley.

He had considered calling Summer a couple of times, but he always decided against it at the end. And that was before he had met Josiah and Michael.

Josiah and Michael Spencer were a pair of brothers from Berkeley, and they had an apartment off campus. Michael was the younger brother, and he had been the first friend that Seth had made at the campus. In fact, their first conversation hadn't been about drugs or alcohol at all. They had discussed comic books and their shared obsession.

Seth had even thrown in the fact that his ex girlfriend once dressed up like Wonder Woman as his Christmas present a couple of years back. Then Michael had invited Seth back to the apartment to hang out. So Seth followed Michael back to his just off campus apartment which he shared with his brother and two friends.

The apartment was relatively decent sized, though nothing compared to the luxury he experienced back in Newport. Seth had grown used to the fact that not a lot of people were as well off as he. The living room area had everything that they needed; an entertainment center, two couches, a large coffee table piled with books, magazines and cigarettes, bean bags and other chairs, and guitars rested against random walls and chairs.

The thing that Seth noticed more than the size or the furniture, however, was the fact that there was a vast amount of illegal activity and substances floating around from person to person.

"Hey Michael, who's your friend?" a tattooed boy asked from the couch. He had a green glass bong in his right hand and a lighter in the left.

"Oh, hey guys, this is Seth. I met him at the union a little while ago. He loves comic books," Michael grinned. Seth looked around, expecting the other four boys' negative reactions, but he was met with nothing but smiles and excited looks.

"Hi Seth. I'm Michael's brother, Josiah," the boy from the couch reached out his hand to shake Seth's. "Sorry. I'm too lazy to stand up."

Seth smiled and shook Josiah's hand. "Hey."

Michael turned to the other boys. "Ok, that guy in the red shirt passed out is Brian." He motioned to a boy dressed in tight jeans and a tight red t-shirt who was curled on an air mattress in the corner. He then pointed to a boy in the messy kitchen who was taking a pizza out of the oven. "That's Pat."

Pat raised a hand in greeting.

"And Derek is around here somewhere. I'm not sure, though," Michael mumbled to more himself, it seemed, than Seth. "Josiah! You have that bowl loaded yet?"

"Yeah. It's KB this time, too," Josiah said excitedly.

Michael took a seat on the floor near the coffee table in the center of the living room. Seth sat down next to him, his actions nervous and jittery. He knew that he shouldn't be there, but he couldn't exactly tell himself why. These were the nicest people he had met thus far, and he wasn't going to deny himself their company just because they smoked pot.

The truth was, they didn't even look like stoners. Michael was dressed normally, clad in black Dickies and a Hurley t-shirt. Josiah was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a black t-shirt. All of the guys looked like normal kids, with the exception of Pat and Brian who seemed as if they were wearing girl's jeans. All of their hair seemed to have a similar style; either longer and straight or spiked into a tiny faux hawk. Either way, they didn't look like the traditional pot smoking teenagers from movies.

"You smoke, Seth?" Josiah asked as he passed the bong from himself to Michael. Seth watched Michael wide eyed before he answered.

"Um, well, not exactly. I mean, I have, but not like this," Seth said nervously, running a hand through his hair. Michael handed him the bong.

"Ok, you just breathe in really deep and Michael will do the rest," Michael chuckled, taking hold of the glass container. Seth started to breathe in slowly, a copious amount of smoke going into his lungs. Michael then removed the small bowl and Seth kept breathing in. "Okay, now hold your breath!"

Seth did as he was told until he couldn't hold it any longer, and he started coughing ferociously as the other boys began laughing.

"Oh shit, man!" Pat laughed loudly. "He's going to be all sorts of fucked up in a minute!"

As soon as he stopped coughing, he began to chuckle nervously. He had expected that whenever he started coughing that these guys would immediately view him as the outsider that he was, but he was pleasantly surprised. These guys really were nice people.

"You want a drink?" Michael asked as he stood up. Seth stopped for a moment and smiled inwardly as he realized that his mind was becoming a bit cloudy.

"What do you have?"

"Well," Michael started, looking at the kitchen counter that was over run by dirty dishes and marijuana remnants. "Vodka. Yager. Vodka. Beer. And water."

Seth laughed. "I'll take a beer, I guess."

Michael walked back over with a glass of vodka in one hand and a beer in the other. He handed the can to Seth before taking a sip of his own. "Where's Derek?"

Josiah shrugged, resting his head back on the couch. "He went out a while ago to get some pink dolphins and Klodopins."

"Oh man," Michael sighed, rubbing his face. "I don't want to roll again tonight."

Seth raised an eye brow but decided not to say anything.

"Well, talk to Derek about it. We could save them for Friday or whatever."

Michael shook his head and took another drink. "What I wouldn't give for some tabs right now."

"Loritabs would help us sleep tonight," Josiah agreed.

"Aren't Loritabs painkillers?" Seth asked, taking a sip of his beer. Michael nodded as he downed the rest of his drink.

As Michael and Josiah had gone back to their conversation, Seth remembered about the bottle of Percocet he had in his backpack. He had gotten the prescription whenever he had his wisdom teeth removed a few months back, but he had never thought about abusing his prescription. Therefore, he had a fairly decent amount of pills left.

"I have these," Seth spoke up awkwardly. Josiah, Michael and Pat all stopped their conversation and watched Seth as he pulled the little orange bottle out of the tiny compartment on his backpack. He tossed the bottle to Josiah, whose mouth dropped as soon as he read the label.

"Percocet? These are yours?"

Seth nodded. "Teeth problems. You guys can have them if you want."

"How much?" Michael asked, equally as shocked as Josiah.

"Don't worry about it," Seth waved his hand as if to dismiss it altogether. "Think of it as a thank you for getting me drunk and stoned."

All three of the guys began to laugh at this.

"Seth, you're alright," Josiah smiled. "You need to come around more often. You're cool as hell."

"See? I told you he was awesome," Michael nodded enthusiastically as he opened the pill bottle and took four out. "Ok, there are four of us, sixteen pills. Four each!"

Seth shook his head. "Oh no, not me. I don't do pills."

Michael passed the bottle around and each of them took a handful of the little purple pills. "Have you ever taken Percocet before, Seth?" Seth shook his head. "Well, you know the feeling that you get when you go to the dentist?" Seth nodded. "Imagine that multiplied by ten and all over your body."

Seth furrowed his brow. He imagined drugs making you stupid and slow. Not like these guys at all. They seemed like totally normal guys.

"You wanna try?" Michael asked, holding out four pills.

"Well, I'm really stoned right now," Seth practically choked. "Maybe when I come down a little bit."

"That's a good idea," Michael said suddenly. "Guys, wait till we're not as stoned anymore and the Percocet will work even better."

The guys seemed to nod and agree to this, and Josiah picked up a remote for the stereo in the front of the room. He began to play a CD that Seth hadn't heard in a long time.

"You guys like Death Cab?" Seth asked. The guys looked incredulously at Seth.

"Hell yeah! Death Cab is awesome," Pat nodded firmly. Seth grinned. This really was a group that he could relate with.

A few hours went by and the boys continued to listen to music and idly chat. Seth had decided that he really enjoyed all of these guys. And they seemed to enjoy his company as well. He was thoroughly excited to have found a group of friends that he really fit in with.

One thing that intrigued Seth about these guys was the fact that they weren't looking for girlfriends. Michael and Pat were not interested in girls at that point, and Josiah had just gotten out of a very serious relationship with a girl who broke his heart. Something to which Seth could overwhelmingly relate. He had even discussed Summer a little bit with the guys, and they each offered condolences and their own advice. It was as if Seth had found a haven in this apartment.

Right before they took the Percocet, the front door opened and a shorter kid that seemed about their age walked in and stood in front of the TV. He seemed very serious until everyone acknowledged his presence with a blank stare.

"You guys are fucked up," the kid grinned. Michael nodded and all of the guys started to laugh. "Who is this?"

"Oh, I'm Seth. Seth Cohen," Seth reached out his hand to shake.

"Hey Seth, I'm Derek Stratton," he took Seth's hand, and just like all of the other guys, his smile was happy and genuine. "Guys, look what I got."

Derek held up a baggie which contained a variety of white and pink pills.

"Hells yeah!" Michael exclaimed. "Rolls and Klodopins!"

"We're gonna be trippin' balls tomorrow night!" Derek exclaimed excitedly, putting the baggie into a jar that sat on top of the entertainment center. "You gonna roll with us, Seth?"

Seth looked confused. "I don't know. Rolls?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot you weren't into the whole drug thing," Michael laughed. "Those little pink pills? Those were pink dolphins. About $400 worth of rolls."

"Rolls?" Seth asked.

"Rolls. Dolphins."

Seth continued to stare blankly.

"Ecstasy!" Josiah exclaimed giddily.

Seth's mouth dropped. Ecstasy was a drug that his parents had always warned him about. He had read the statistics on the drug and heard horror stories from magazines about people who died the first time that they tried it. But he had never first hand talked to anyone who had taken the drug before.

"What does it do to you?" Seth tried his hardest to stay calm, but he was freaking out.

"Oh shit man!" Derek clapped his hands together. "It freaks you the fuck out!"

"It makes all of your nerves stand on end!" Michael explained. "It makes you feel like God. Like you can do anything. It makes you love everyone and everything. It's the best drug in the world."

Seth had never heard it explained like that before. "Wow. Um, okay."

"So you want to roll with us?" Josiah asked.

"I don't know. Maybe. I don't have any cash," Seth tried to make an excuse, but Michael shook his head.

"Man, don't worry about it. You help us, we help you. Think of it as on the house," Michael smiled.

"What? He got you guys stuff?" Derek asked

"No, he had some left over Percocet and he gave it to us."

"Wow. No generic stuff, huh?" Derek admonished. "Okay. Cool."

Michael grabbed the little pile of pills that Seth had made on the table. "Take these. They'll fuck you up."

"I thought you weren't supposed to mix alcohol and pills together."

Michael grinned. "You're not supposed to smoke pot either, but look at us."

Seth shrugged nervously as he tossed the pills into his mouth and washed them down with the last of his beer's vodka.

All of the guys cheered as Seth wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Now, tell us tomorrow that you didn't enjoy those Percocet, and we won't make you roll," Derek winked.

Everyone laughed at this.

Seth closed his eyes and rested his back against the kitchen counter. Suddenly, the music became intense and his body started to tingle. His mind was muddled and he could barely open his eyes, but it was an incredible feeling. The weed dumbed him down, the alcohol dulled his senses and the Percocet made him feel as if he were flying. The feeling was undeniably awesome, and he couldn't help but ask himself why he hadn't done this before.

Because Seth Cohen finally found somewhere he belonged.

End Prologue. Read and review! )


	2. Blow

Thanks for the reviews. Here's part 2.

And for those of you who are curious, Ryan is around. And he's coming. And most likely he'll bring Summer with him.

Not literally, but don't think that Seth is getting away with this stuff.

Note: I have written and re written this chapter about two or three times. I think this one is the best, though.

* * *

Seth's eyes opened at the incessant pounding coming from the inside of his head. Looking down at his outfit, he realized he was still dressed in his jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt and sneakers from the night before. A wave of nausea washed over him and he closed his eyes again. His mind reeled as he tried to remember the events from the night before. Foggy images of Michael's apartment made themselves clear and last night came roaring back into his mind like a train. There had been lots of weed, lots of ecstasy, lots of alcohol and lots of girls. One girl in particular whose name stuck out in his mind. 

Cassie. That was her name. She was a cute little freshman of Asian decent, and to put it nicely, she was well known for being "friendly" to a lot of different boys. He remembered taking the ecstasy just as she walked in with a group of her friends. She had immediately taken a liking to Seth, and the rest had been history.

Oh, last night was definitely something to remember. For good or for bad, Seth couldn't tell. Blinking lights kept flashing through his head as he tried to piece memories and events together. He vaguely remembered laying down in only his boxers and a wool coat on Michael's shag rug in the middle of the living room and the tingles and sensations it sent up and down his body. He could barely see Cassie laying half naked next to him, slowly peeling off his coat and running her fingers under the elastic waistline of his shorts. He made a choked, groaning noise of sorts as he remembered having sex with Cassie on Josiah's floor, only because Josiah was at his girlfriend's house. And only because they were too lazy to get up on the bed.

What he remembered most about rolling, though, was the impeccable feeling of ecstasy he achieved while peeking on the drug.

His body had felt like his nerves were on end, yet dancing at the same time. He loved everyone and everything, and it was as if the past nineteen years of his life hadn't happened. It was as if he had been raised in a bubble of pure love that had never had intrusions. Even while he was rolling, he knew that he had never felt so good and that he would probably never, ever feel that good while sober.

The bad part was that he knew that no one should ever feel that good.

His mind shot back to the night before, and he saw himself writhing in sheer enjoyment on the carpet, his arms rubbing the rug and the girls smearing lotion all over his naked torso. The lights blinked and told stories, causing pictures to form in his head. He had never felt so incredible. He had never felt so creative. He had never felt so right.

He had never felt so alive.

Thanks to an illegal, dangerous drug.

But this morning was a completely different story. Josiah and Derek had told him that coming down off of the ecstasy was the worst feeling imaginable. Seth hadn't understood the severity of the words until he himself came down on the walk home to his dorm.

It was, quite literally, as if he had been dancing and playing and screaming and singing at the top of his lungs while in the clouds, and someone had been angered and yanked him to the ground by his feet. He went from unimaginable bliss to normalcy in just seconds. If he thought about it too much, it was enough to make him scream in agony. He sighed and took a deep breath. It was only once. It wasn't an everyday occurrence. It was just one of those things; a college experiment.

He rolled over to look at the digital clock that read 11:10. The only thing that Seth needed to know at this point was whether it was day or night. Judging by the light coming from the curtains, he assumed it was morning.

Tossing his fully dressed legs over the side of the bed, he slouched his way into the bathroom. His movements were awkward and slow, and for some reason he felt as if he were sore. He flicked the on the light in the bathroom and leaned forward to examine himself.

Plain and simple, he looked like hell. His hair was sweaty, matted and pressed tightly to his head like a helmet. His skin was pale and clammy, and some of his hair stuck to his face. His eyes were glassy and his pupils were still larger than normal, though nothing compared to their monstrous size the night before. The dark circles under his eyes looked almost like bruises.

He let out another groan as his mind continued to recollect the night before. That was it. No more drugs. He couldn't believe that he actually let himself go just that one time. He was no better than those Newport party kids that he despised so much in high school. He could tell that his mind was still foggy from the night before and that his movements were slow and not well planned. What kind of weak minded idiot could be pressured into taking illegal drugs? What a moronic move.

If Ryan ever found out about this, Seth's life would be over. Fortunately for the situation, though, Ryan was either at Marissa's dorm or at the frat house that he frequented. Ryan had sworn that he wouldn't pledge, but he had already made friends with half of the guys from Phi Delta. It was obvious to anyone that it was only a matter of time before Ryan joined and became a Phi himself. And since that left Seth alone for long amounts of time, it only made sense that he should get into some unsupervised mischief.

Right?

_'Stop trying to justify this,' _Seth's conscious snapped. _'There is nothing you can say that makes this okay. This isn't your parents' fault and this isn't Ryan's fault. Mom and Dad have warned you countless times what ecstasy does to your brain.'_

He turned on the shower and continued to study his appearance. Maybe hanging out with those guys wasn't the best decision he could make. Because as much fun as it was having friends, doing drugs was not the way he wanted to do that.

Before he had a chance to think about it anymore, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and sighed as he saw Michael's name flash across the caller ID. He considered ignoring the call for a moment before he flipped the phone open and held it to his ear.

"Hello?" He rubbed his hand across his face as he realized how rough even his voice sounded.

"Seth, buddy, how you feeling this morning?"

"Not great, actually. How are you guys doing?"

"I'm fine. I know how to make the come down a lot better than it is. And the guys are still passed out."

Seth paused for a second. "Michael, buddy, I'm going to be honest with you. Last night was not fun. At all."

"Dude, are you kidding? You were the one talking about how that was the best night you have ever had. And believe me, you were having plenty of fun with Cassie."

"That's just it, man. I don't want to be a man whore and drug addict. I think I'm going to have to bow out of this one."

"Seth, dude, we have all been in your place. I know that its scary the first time you do it, but its like anything else. You just have to try again and it gets easier and easier and more fun and more fun."

"No, Michael," Seth stated with finality. "Doing drugs is _not_ like anything else."

"Calm down, calm down," Michael sighed. "I really like you, Seth. I think you're one of the most real people on this campus. So how about this? Come hang out with us tonight."

"I don't think that's such a good idea…"

"Just hear me out. No drugs. Just you, me, Pat, Josiah and Brian, all sitting around playing cards. Or we could order a pizza. Sound okay?"

Seth paused for a second. "No drugs?"

"None."

"Okay. I can stop by this afternoon after my chemistry class at 8."

"Sounds good, dude. See you then."

"Later," Seth sighed, hanging up the phone. Part of him congratulated himself on standing up for his morals and beliefs while the other half kicked himself for not ditching these guys all together. Was it really that hard to find friends that weren't addicted to drugs? After all, Ryan had done it.

Ryan. Shit. Seth was supposed to meet him at 11:00 in the student union. Seth tossed a gaze to the clock that read 11:20. Not too late to make it, but definitely late. He grabbed his backpack off of the table before taking off out of the door.

* * *

"I'm kind of worried about Seth," Ryan sighed to his girlfriend as they walked hand in hand along the campus a couple of days later. "He hasn't been himself without Summer." 

"It's a breakup, Ryan," Marissa said softly. "Neither one of them are taking it lightly. But it's okay. They'll get better."

"I hope so," Ryan shook his head. "I saw him a couple of days ago when we met to exchange psych notes. He looked horrible. He was all pale and he had circles under his eyes."

Marissa seemed totally unconcerned. "I'm sure he's fine. He's probably just really stressed about his classes. Or maybe he _is_ losing sleep over Summer. Either way, you just have to back off and let him handle this."

"I guess you're right," Ryan shrugged. He just wasn't used to letting people handle their own problems. He was usually the one handling their problems.

"Ryan, you can go around saving people forever," Marissa said sheepishly, trying to avoid Ryan's skeptical look. "Okay, maybe I am not the right one to say that, but I am trying too. No more fights, no more drama. I promise."

Ryan smiled slightly as he leaned in for a kiss. "Promise?"

"Promise," she grinned wildly, snaking her arms around his neck.

He pulled back as he felt the vibrating against his side. "Your phone?"

Marissa grinned sheepishly once more as she pulled it out to see who was invading their moment. "It's Summer." She opened the phone and gave Ryan the 'one second' finger. "Hello?"

"Coop?" It was obvious that Summer had been crying.

"Sum, what's wrong?"

"Marissa," Summer sobbed, "I miss Seth. And I hate Brown!"

"You don't hate Brown, Summer. You were just talking about how much you loved it!"

"I lied! I miss Cohen!"

Marissa rolled her eyes in Ryan's direction, indicating that the call was going to take a little longer than expected. He nodded understandingly and walked towards a coffee cart to kill some time. Just as he was about to decide between a banana muffin or a bagel, he saw Seth walking across the courtyard with a guy Ryan had never seen before. He jogged out to meet them.

"Seth!" Ryan called. Seth paused for a moment, his face registering no emotion. "What's up man?"

"Not a lot, actually," Seth said softly, returning the half hug. "This is Derek."

Ryan shook his head and nodded. "Ryan."

Derek returned the nod and then glanced at Seth expectantly. Seth took the hint. "We were actually just running to a friend's house. Derek has to get some stuff from an ex. You know how that goes."

Ryan gave Derek a sympathetic look and Derek shrugged. "Well, it's been real guys, but my girlfriend is ready to go. See ya," Ryan called, jogging back the way he came.

As soon as Ryan was out of ear shot, Seth turned on Derek. "What the fuck, man?"

"Dude, you're paranoid. No one on this campus is looking at us at all. We're two normal guys."

"Two normal guys with ounces of illegal substances in our pockets!" Seth hissed. "Do you realize how much trouble we could get in?"

"Really, Seth? I was totally unaware of the fact that Ritalin, the drug I'm prescribed to take, is illegal," Derek snipped sarcastically.

"We are not using it for your ADD, and you know it," Seth snarled. "If it's so okay, just go offer some to that cop over there."

"Just calm down. For all anyone knows, we are two guys on a mission to get one's shit back from an ex!"

Seth shook his head, his anger relenting a bit. "I just don't like this."

"Do you want to smoke tonight or not?"

Seth sighed and rubbed his temples. He had become accustomed to smoking over the past few days. And while he wasn't addicted to it, the idea of a little buzz and giggle fest with the guys who were becoming his best friends didn't sound like such a bad idea. Especially on a Friday night.

"I want to smoke," Seth practically whispered. Derek grinned widely and slung an arm around the taller man's shoulders.

"Sweet. You won't be sorry, man. We just have to get to this guy's house and get some weed."

"Alright," Seth sighed. "But I'm not rolling again, because--"

"Stop," Derek said with finality, taking a step back to look at Seth. "There is no need to tell me why. You didn't like it, and that's totally fine. I'm not going to badger you until you give me a reason I see fit."

Seth blinked.

"And I'm certainly not going to make you roll again. You didn't like it. I understand."

"Thanks, dude," Seth grinned, patting Derek on the back. Derek tossed his arm lazily around Seth's middle back.

"Man, I think we're having a moment," Derek laughed joyously as he dropped his arm back down and punched Seth playfully in the shoulder. "But Seth, if you tell me you didn't like the weed, man, I'm going to know you're lying."

Seth gave Derek a sideways glance as they continued to walk, a sneaky smile edging at the corners of his mouth.

* * *

Later that night, Seth sat on Michael's couch, and he was more stoned than he had ever been in his entire life. Things were going really fast around him and any ounce of thought or effort was going solely into the record playing on the player in the living room. He let out an uneasy sigh as Cassie snuggled closer under his arm. 

"I'm so fucked up," Cassie grumbled, throwing her arm out for her pack of cigarettes.

Normally, Seth would never have even given a girl who smoked a second thought. Normally, Seth would never have given a girl who wasn't Summer a second thought. But Cassie was nice.

And he was way too stoned to make her move.

He looked down as she started to run her free hand along the zipper of his jeans. He stared at her for a moment before willing his hand to try to push hers away. She snaked back around his arm to keep touching him, and he put his hands down in defeat.

"Dude, Cassie, seriously?" Pat asked as he set the bong back onto the table. "Can you not see that he doesn't want any right now? Are you that fucking stupid?"

"Go to hell, Pat! You're just jealous that I'm not laying on you right now."

"Oh yeah, I'm jealous. Jealous of all the STD's and bastard kids I'm not getting! I'm keeping you as far away as possible, slut!"

Brian, who was sitting right next to Pat, raised a hand. "But we're not saying that she's bad for you, Seth. We just don't agree with her actions."

"Are you so slutty that you have to touch a guy who obviously doesn't even like you?"

The bickering continued, but Seth was still too messed up to do anything about it. He sat and stared off into space for a minute or so until the door opened and Derek, Michael and Josiah walked in with victorious grins.

"We got the yay!" Josiah grinned widely. He took three tiny baggies out of his pocket and tossed them to Brian and Pat. Brian poured some onto the table and started cutting it into finer grains, and Pat slipped his into his cigarette box.

"You want a hit of this?" Michael asked Seth a few minutes later after he got done making lines on the kitchen counter. "I got a line for you, Cohen."

Seth shook his head.

"No man, don't you make him do that," Derek said very calmly from the living room. "Don't you fucking touch him."

"Don't mind Derek," Josiah whispered to Seth as he leaned over him to grab his cigarettes. "He's on methadone."

"Methadone?" Seth grumbled. "Isn't that like morphine?"

"Yeah," Michael nodded disapprovingly, kicking Derek softly as he walked by him. "It's just like morphine."

Seth shook his head. "Holy hell."

"Want to blow?" Michael grinned as grabbed his wallet off of a side table and walked back into the kitchen. Seth roughly untangled himself from Cassie and went to investigate the cocaine. Michael had cut seven lines on the counter.

"Oh, dude," Pat laughed out loud as Michael took a $100 bill out of his wallet. He rolled it tightly and snorted the white powder into his nose. He sniffed loudly, his eyes watering and his sinuses swelling under the pressure. Michael sat back, obviously stunned for a few seconds before he broke out into a huge grin.

"This is good, dude."

Pat took the bill from his friend's hand and followed suit with the snorting. He had the same reaction as Michael, with the same goofy grin. As soon as he was done, he handed the bill to Seth. Seth stared at it for a moment, his mind still hazy and cloudy from the pot.

"Just snort it," Brian mumbled, cutting another line on the counter. "It's fun."

"Haven't you already done one?" Seth asked, his eyes open to barely slits.

"I've done two," Brian laughed. Seth really didn't find it funny, but he began to giggle as well. As soon as they were done laughing, Seth rolled the bill back tightly.

"Alright, I'll do it." Seth was still laughing as he ran the bill along the snow white powder, inhaling from his nose as he went.

The cocaine hit his sinuses like a stab to the brain. All of his senses heightened and stopped all at the same time and he thought he was going to die. Suddenly, he had an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and excitement as soon as the drug hit his brain. A smile started crossing his face as Cassie stumbled into the kitchen.

"Took a hit, huh?" she asked, lighting up another cigarette. "I'll never touch that stuff."

"It's not so bad," Seth grumbled, almost completely ignoring her as he pushed by her to the living room. "Just for the one time."

"That's the thing about cocaine," she exhaled dramatically as she watched him drum his legs while pacing the living room. "There's never just one line."

Read and review.

Author's notes: This is so hard to write. I want to make it realistic, but its so dark. But don't worry. Seth may be having fun now, but the proverbial crap will soon hit the fan. Now that all of this is out of the way, some fun stuff and storyline can start happening.


	3. Glass

Author's Notes: This is so hard to write. But for all you Summer fans, this is where she comes into play.

PS: Sorry this took so long. I have been so busy with other things lately. But now that this chapter has been written, I can write it faster.

* * *

The mood in the apartment was quiet and dull. None of the guys had the best of days and none were in a talkative mood. Pat was baking a pizza, Brian was playing his game boy and Seth was bored out of his mind.

"You guys got any glass?" Seth asked tiredly, his head lulling back and forth. He needed a line of coke or a bowl of weed to take his mind off of his sudden and nasty break up with Cassie.

Seth had claimed that since the relationship was based on nothing but sexual attraction, there was no future. Cassie turned the claim to an accusation that Seth had used her for sex and lead her on. There had been fighting and yelling, kicking and screaming, crying and harsh words, but it was over now. And Seth needed something to calm himself down.

"None, dude," Brian grumbled, his eyes not leaving the screen of his game boy.

"Weed?"

"None," Pat called from the kitchen.

"What the hell, man? Dammit!" Seth sighed. "When are we getting some?"

"Well," Derek began as he walked out of the bedroom towards the kitchen. "The guy said he can get it on Thursday. And that's only till tomorrow, man."

"'Tomorrow? I want it now," Seth practically whined. "I really don't think I can wait till tomorrow."

"What the hell do you want me to do about it?" Brian snapped. "Fucking pull it out of a hat?"

Before Seth had the chance to say anything, Derek stepped between the two. "Seth, if you really want some that bad, dude, there's a guy that you can get it from. But its all you, man."

"What do you mean?" Seth asked.

Derek and Brian exchanged stormy looks before Derek continued. "Well, the guy is always messed up. Always. And the police around here know him pretty well, so it's not like he can just go out and sell, you know? So he gets guys to sell it for him, and then he just hands over a cut of the profit or the stuff."

"That doesn't sound too weird to me," Seth commented. "Hell, I'll do it."

"That's just it," Derek pointed at Seth. "That's exactly what me and Josiah thought last time we needed some blow, right Jo?"

Josiah looked up, his eyes blurry and glassy. "Yeah, man. That was insane."

Seth looked confusedly at Derek, who continued. "We were going to sell some smack to these guys in exchange for some cocaine, but for some reason, at the last second, we couldn't do it."

"It's because you have to front the shit and you guys didn't have money," Brian called from the couch.

Seth sat up straight. "Money is no problem, believe me."

"And the guys who went instead of us got their fucking heads blown off by these crazy Mexican guys," Josiah finished, completely ignoring Seth's interruption.

Seth's mouth dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I don't know if I'd risk it, man," Derek shook his head. "This guy deals with shady people. It's not worth it."

Seth sat back to think for a second. It was pretty apparent that if he did for some reason decide to go, that none of these guys would go with him. He'd be in it by himself. And was it really worth it?

He sighed to himself. It wasn't worth it, but he knew he would feel so much better with it.

'_This is what an addiction must feel like_,' he thought glumly.

Seth leaned forward and grabbed a cigarette off of the table. A nasty habit he had picked up since the beginning of school. It was just a little something that could at least hold his attention while the guys didn't have anything. Especially in times such as these. He lit up a Camel and sat back once more.

"Hey Derek," Seth called. Derek looked up from his pizza at the table. "Give me that guy's number."

Derek gave Seth a shocked stare as he pulled his phone from his pocket. "Here it is. But be careful, man."

Seth caught Derek's phone as it was tossed towards him. He copied down the number quickly, excused himself and walked out of the apartment, his phone dialing the number on the way out.

* * *

Three hours later, Seth sat on a park bench outside of Del Sandra's, the just off campus coffee house. He glanced around nervously, waiting for sight of whoever it was he was supposed to meet. The conversation he had had with "Reggie" earlier had been very simple and to the point.

"Hello?" Seth had asked, and he was met with silence.

"Name."

"Seth," Seth gulped nervously.

"How did you get this number?"

"My friend Derek. He said--"

"There will be someone meeting you on the park bench in from of Del Sandra's at six o'clock. Understand?"

"Yeah." Seth's nervousness had escalated to the point of his heart being in his throat.

There was a click, and the conversation was over.

Now it was 5:56, and there was still no one in sight.

Just as he was about to leave, a guy almost his age sat down on the bench next to him. The guy didn't even go so far as to even acknowledge Seth's presence. Out of the corner of his eye, he barely caught the man slipping a CD case into Seth's bag while taking the bank envelope that contained the $300.

"The girl you're meeting should be here in fifteen minutes," the guy said, still looking straight ahead. Seth made careful not to look at him, either. "It's a chick, so I think you'll be okay. You never know who they'll bring though, so keep your guard up. Good luck. She'll be paying $300. Even. All cash. Just give her the case. I'll be back here in exactly thirty minutes to pick up the cash. And I'll have your glass when I get back."

He got up and walked down the street as if he had never exchanged words with Seth.

Seth sighed and sat back once more. If only his parents could see him now. Doing drugs, dealing drugs, hanging out with people who did both. He almost wished, for just a split second, that he was back in Newport, laying on the bed in the pool house, whining to Ryan about his Summer problems. And if Summer could see him now, she would probably kick his ass so hard that he would never worry about drugs again.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he was relieved to have a distraction from his worrying. 'Are you okay, man?' read the text message from Derek.

Seth nodded and smiled. Derek really was a good guy. It wasn't his fault that he was so messed up. Out of all of the guys, Seth had grown the most attached to Derek and Michael. Derek more so than Michael. He felt as if Derek always had his back and was always watching out for him. It wasn't his fault that his parents were total losers and didn't care about their son. Derek was just trying to deal with things the best way that he could. And Seth was determined not to judge him for that.

He looked up as he heard someone walk by, and immediately, all of the color drained from his face. His mouth dropped into a surprised 'o' as he viewed the one and only Marissa Cooper standing directly in front of him. She was glancing around nervously as if she was looking for something. He guessed that she hadn't seen him at all. How the hell was he supposed to make a drug deal if his brother's girlfriend was standing right there?

"Marissa?" Seth squeaked. She turned around very suddenly, almost hitting Seth with her large bag. He was even more surprised to see the expression that ran across her face to be much similar to the one on his. If not worse.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, the breeze blowing her hair around her face.

"Waiting to give something to a friend," Seth said cautiously. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for Ryan. Study date," Marissa said just as cautiously.

"Funny. I talked to Ryan earlier and he said he was sick and he's staying home all night."

Marissa pretended that his words didn't affect her and she continued to play with the latch on her Chanel bag.

They continued to sit in silence before either of them spoke.

Finally, Seth decided to break the silence. "Does Ryan know that you're still doing coke, Marissa?" Seth asked very softly.

Marissa practically jumped back as if she had been burned. The look of horror on her face lasted not even a split second before it was replaced with calm, cool collection. "Does Ryan know that you're selling coke, Seth?"  
"Touché," Seth chuckled humorlessly to himself. "So we have ourselves a bit of a situation."

She looked away, her eyes wide and nervous.

"Ryan has a suspicion. And I want you to make him forget that," Seth said as-a-matter-of-factly. "I don't care what you have to do, but make him leave me alone."

"I can't do that," Marissa protested. "He knows, Seth. He's just waiting until he has proof."

"Well, Marissa, you're really good at deceiving people. I mean, how long have you been doing coke without Ryan knowing?"

"I choose not to dignify that with a response," Marissa snapped.

"Your choice." Seth pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his bag, offering Marissa one before he slid his own out and lit it. She politely declined. Seth shrugged as he lit it and took a deep drag.

"You could have fooled me," Seth said after a long pause. "I had no idea you were back on."

"I wish I could say the same for you," Marissa said softly, brushing her hair back with one hand. They both stared straight ahead.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I see the people you hang out with. I see your eyes. I see the change in your attitude. Everyone can. I'm not retarded."

Seth shrugged once more as he reached into his bag.

"$300."

She handed him an envelope out of her own bag.

"It's all right there." She stood up from the bench and brushed the imaginary dirt from her lap. "I'll see you around, Seth. Stay out of trouble."

"Same to you, Cooper. I'll be seeing you soon," he called after her as she walked down the street.

* * *

"I hate the cold!" Summer cried, kicking a pile of clothes as she came in from the balcony. It was only October and the weather was already almost to negative numbers. And the crazy part was that no one in Rhode Island seemed to care. Everyone just bundled up in heavy coats, pretty much ignoring the little California girl shivering in the midst.

"I hate the cold, I hate Rhode Island! I hate apartments! I hate laundry!" Summer could honestly feel a rage blackout coming, but she didn't care. She had never been more homesick than she was at that exact moment. She missed everyone back in Orange County. Any familiar face would be a pleasure to see at that moment, even someone like Holly. Or even Taylor.

Most of all, she missed Seth. She hadn't seen or heard from him in what seemed to be forever, and she missed him more than anything. The only thing that kept her from calling, though, was the pain that she felt whenever she thought of how he was probably just sitting at Berkeley, being stoned or drunk.

She knew all about Seth's little excursions into the drug world. Ryan and Marissa had done a very good job at keeping her posted and informed without his knowledge. Ryan hadn't been the one to tell about the marijuana, though. Marissa had told her about seeing Seth stumbling around with boys that were not notorious for good behavior. Summer could honestly say that she wasn't surprised, but that didn't make her any less disappointed.

Both girls were almost completely positive that Ryan had no idea that he was on drugs of any type. He had his suspicions, sure, but he had never caught Seth under any sort of influence and he had never smelled anything on him. And if anyone would know if drugs were present, it would be Ryan. Unless he was in some sort of state of denial.

She preferred not to go with the latter of the two.

Fortunately, she was planning a trip back to Newport for that weekend. It was fall break and school was recessing for an entire week. When she had first looked at her calendar, she had considered what a good opportunity that seven days would be to catch up on studying. But then she had received a call from Marissa urging her to return home as soon as she possibly could. She hadn't made it clear, and it was obvious she was not willing to talk about it over the phone. But she said it was serious. And it had to do with Seth.

Reluctantly, Summer had booked a flight back to Newport Beach for three hours after her last class on Thursday evening.

Which was in precisely 23 hours in counting.

Her mind was reeling and she couldn't stop thinking about what could possibly be so important that she had to fly thousands of miles to discuss. What could possibly not be handled over the phone. Seth was in trouble, no doubt, and Summer was willing to bet it was the moral or legal kind. And she couldn't decide which was worse.

* * *

"I talked to your mom today," Ryan told Seth later that evening as they relaxed in the dorm. Ryan was folding his laundry and packing, while Seth had just woken up from a nap. "She said she was really excited to see us tomorrow."

"I'm sure she is," Seth mumbled from his place on the couch. "Listen, Ryan, I was thinking that I really don't think that going back to Newport tomorrow is going to be a good idea."

Ryan looked up, obviously shocked by the news. "What? I thought we would all go back together. You, me, Marissa. It will be fun! Why aren't you coming?"

Seth winced at the obvious disappointment in Ryan's voice. "You know, dude. Midterms are in like, two weeks and I am already falling behind in my classes. If I do really well on these, I can really do okay this semester. I just need to stay here and concentrate on school."

Ryan set the shirt he was folding into his suitcase. "Dude, your mom, seriously. She was really looking forward to seeing both of us."

"Well that doesn't mean that you can't go!" Seth practically snapped. "I'm sure she will be very excited to see you!"

Ryan looked as if he had been slapped. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Seth said, his voice a littler slower and calmer, "that you should go to Newport. Just because I am not going doesn't mean that you should sacrifice your weekend of fun."

"I just expected us to go together." Ryan's voice was cold. "But I will call Kirsten and Sandy today and let them know that you have more important things to do here."

With that, Ryan walked out of the dorm, slamming the door in his wake.

* * *

So now I have this written. So expect an update later tomorrow. 


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